22 Sep We Don’t Get to Choose Who Riley Is: Embracing the Wild Ride of Emotions
We’ve all been there—sitting in a meeting or on the couch, replaying a conversation, maybe even overanalyzing that one awkward thing we said. It’s just how our brains work. And if you’ve ever watched Inside Out (or the recent Inside Out 2), you know exactly what I mean. Spoiler alert: we don’t get to pick who we are, just like Riley doesn’t get to pick who she is.
The idea that we don’t get to choose who Riley is, a statement from Inside Out 2, brilliantly summarizes something we all experience but don’t always admit: We are passengers in the emotional roller coaster of life. Our emotions, just like the movie’s characters Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust, are constantly in the driver’s seat, and we’re along for the ride. Let’s be honest—it’s a mess! A hilarious, unpredictable, and sometimes infuriating mess, but it’s also what makes us us.
Emotions Drive the Bus, Not Us
We often think we’re in control, don’t we? We like to believe that we can be perfectly rational, logical beings, driving our thoughts with cold, calculated decisions. Ha! Freud would have a field day with that idea. If Freud could sit you down for a therapy session, he’d probably chuckle and say, “Yeah, no… The unconscious is really running the show, friend. Welcome to the club!”
Freud, the granddaddy of psychoanalysis, believed that so much of what we feel and do stems from deep, hidden desires and fears (Freud, 1923). In other words, the little emotional voices inside us (just like in the movie!) are calling the shots. Sometimes Joy is at the controls, but at other times, Sadness or Anger grabs the wheel, and suddenly, we’re yelling at our laptop because the Wi-Fi’s slow. 🤬
And let’s not forget about Carl Jung, Freud’s rebellious student, who added his own twist to the mix. Jung would say we’ve got archetypes—universal characters—living inside us, and these also shape how we act (Jung, 1969). Maybe there’s a little bit of the Hero, the Trickster, or the Wise Old Sage popping up in your everyday decisions (or maybe just the Trickster when you prank your coworker).
It’s All Part of the Plan (Or Not)
But hey, don’t get too stressed about it. After all, Inside Out isn’t just about showing how chaotic our minds can be. It’s about accepting that chaos as part of the human experience. We don’t get to choose who Riley is—or who we are—because we’re constantly changing. Our emotions shift, evolve, and sometimes clash in ways that are messy, unpredictable, and downright hilarious.
So, when we catch ourselves feeling out of control, maybe it’s time to take a cue from Inside Out. Instead of trying to fight those emotions or squash them down, what if we embraced them? What if we let ourselves feel whatever comes up, even if it’s Anger smashing the “blow up everything” button or Sadness laying face-down on the floor (again). If we try to control it all, we’re just gonna burn ourselves out—and, spoiler, that rarely works out.
The Takeaway: Stop Trying to Control Everything
At the end of the day, the lesson from Inside Out 2 is pretty clear: we don’t get to choose who we are, and that’s okay. Life’s a lot more interesting when we’re open to the weird, wild, and wonderful mix of emotions that make us human. Maybe next time you feel a wave of anxiety, frustration, or random joy, just remember—it’s all part of the ride, and everyone’s got their own version of Riley inside their head.
Embrace the chaos. Laugh at the mess. And maybe, just maybe, let Joy take the wheel more often (but keep Anger close by—sometimes, you just need to honk that horn).
References
Freud, S. (1923). The ego and the id. Hogarth Press.
Jung, C. G. (1969). The archetypes and the collective unconscious (R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton University Press. (Original work published 1959)
Inside Out 2 (2024). Pixar Animation Studios.
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